Tempting Fate

Hopefully, today’s post will bring a smile to your face. That’s the goal. This story still makes me laugh when I think of it…

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For a long time now my attitude has been, ‘It’s only hair. It’ll grow back.’ Note I’ve only been saying that since I started wearing my hair short years ago. Also note that, in my experience, Life has had a way of taking me literally and challenging me to see if I really mean it.

Earlier this year, due to the covid stay-at-home order, I decided that I would become my own hair stylist. After all, I thought, how hard could it be? As I said I wear my hair short. Like pixie-cut short. I had been watching my hairstylists with rapt attention, studying their art for years. I’m an artist too. Again I thought, how hard?

So I got myself a razor. An electric clipper made mainly for men’s haircuts. You know, buzz cuts and stuff like that. Exactly what I wanted for the sides and back of my head. Exactly the same as what my hair stylist had been using on the fade cuts I’d been having her do for me for a while.

If you’re familiar with these clippers, they come with guards. They’re a plastic attachment that determines the length of hair you leave on your head. A #1 leaves it very short, whereas a #4 leaves it longer. This clipper set came with what I thought was a perfect guard, an adjustable one. You could set it as short as 2 or as long as 10. I reasoned that I’d start with 8, longer than I wanted, but which would give me time to get used to using the razor. That way if it turned out okay, I could do it again with a lower number. Sounds perfect, right?

With two mirrors angled just right, I started in the back of my head with the adjustable guard set on 8. Stopped and assessed my progress, decided it looked good and kept going. Checked again, thought it was looking fine. My confidence increased and I thought something cocky like, ‘To think of all the money I’ve wasted on hair stylists over the years…’ I got into the groove and moved to the right side of my head. That’s when it happened. I was startled when I first saw it. You guessed it – a bald spot. Yup. A big one. Right down to the skin in a fairly big swath around and above my ear. I didn’t get it at first. Why would this happen? Then I remembered the ‘adjustable’ part of the guard I was using. That was probably it. I peered at it in disbelief. It had slipped down to the 2 setting. As close as it could get to my skin, it got.

I started laughing. I couldn’t stop. What a knucklehead I am, I thought! I went into my husband’s office and, still laughing, showed him the outcome. He smiled and shook his head, as he often does about stuff I do. We laughed often over the next month or so, every time one of us touched it and recalled what I’d done.

Turns out, I was right, though. It IS only hair and it DOES grow back. But I haven’t used that clipper since. I’m not THAT much of a dork! 😉

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